It's not your secret to tell
by lissylou78
Summary: The aftermath of Oliver's outburst after Barry saves his life, and how Felicity pulls away from him...


To say that things were tense between Oliver and Felicity would be an understatement. After he had yelled at her for revealing his identity to Barry something had shifted. It wasn't the first time his anger had caused him to lash out in anger in her presence. It was however the first time he had directed it at her. The look on her face sobered him up and before he could apologise Barry had pointed out the obvious, that he was a jerk, but there was no turning back. Instead of apologizing he just left the room. It wasn't his finest moment and he didn't need to look at Diggle to know how badly he had handled that.

For the days that followed they just resumed their task as Team Arrow. Whilst outward appearances showed that they were fine, her demeanor and countenance said differently. For all her qualities, her inability to filter was the most endearing. She was the most honest person he had ever met and it made her transparent to him and those she came across. She was genuine and loyal to a fault.

She had pulled the long hours as she always did, but the moment they were back in the Foundry and a debrief was had she would leave the moment he went to get changed, as though timing it perfectly so that she wouldn't have to interact with him.

Even as she hugged him with worry as he returned from searching for Slade, he felt her catch herself as she stiffened as soon as she realized that her body had flung itself around his without her permission. When he asked her where Barry was she offhandedly answered that he had returned to central city to catch the launch of the particle accelerator, which he assumed in geek speak was a big deal. As she placed Barry's parting gift of a mask over his face and called him a hero he never felt less so as she stepped away from him.

That night she didn't even wait for them to return. The moment he and Diggle had said they were headed back she bid them goodnight and left to go home. With Barry in town, she had spent most her waking hours with him as he stayed on her couch after he came back to save Oliver. She hadn't really had a moment to herself, and she was well due. Diggle, her trusted number two read her like a book and threw her the occasional look of concern and undying support. He knew that she had taken Oliver's outburst to heart, and that he understood the root of why it hurt her. After Oliver had stormed off, he had draped an arm around her and dropped his lips to the side of her head. She was grateful for the older brother she had found in him. He grounded her, just as he grounded Oliver despite the fact that he insists that was her job.

Felicity wasted no time as she walked into her apartment, she had thrown her shoes off at the door, shed her clothes and headed straight to the shower. Whilst in there she did a quick inventory of what was in her fridge and pantry. She and Barry had been eating take outs as her time was spent mostly at the Foundry and QC. She hadn't even had a chance to send her online grocery order through, which was always her fall back had she not been able to do her own store run. Which happened more often than not. She liked to cook, whilst she may not be the best at it, it was a part of the long list in her life as a work in progress. She decided that there were enough things in her pantry that would allow her to throw something quick together, even if it were only pesto and pasta. A staple in her home. Shamelessly covered in parmesan cheese and toasted pine nuts. Her stomach rumbled in agreement of her food choice. Regretfully she left the comforts of her hot shower and slipped on her most comfortable pair of pyjamas. She padded around her apartment, turning her TV on and selecting Gilmore Girls to play in the background whilst she threw her dinner together. She had picked a particular episode where Luke was being more obstinate than usual and found herself arguing with him on her behalf of Lorelai and herself as there were parts of her rant wasn't directed at Luke anymore but Oliver himself.

"You can't have it both ways!" she raged with tongs in her hand as she tossed her pasta together. A knock on the door made her stop, feel somewhat embarrassed that anyone else may have heard her rant. She took a deep breath, a part of her already knew who would be on the other side of the door. She sighed and contemplated leaving him there until he got the point and let her be. She thought if she stayed quiet now she could feign that she didn't hear him and that she was in the bathroom.

"I heard you rant at Luke Felicity. I know you're there, so don't even think about pretending that you can't hear me." Felicity let out an exasperated sigh and put her tongs down. She took her time opening the door and when she did she was met with an apologetic Oliver holding a pint of her favourite ice cream as a peace offering.

Wordlessly, without a smile she stepped aside to let him in. A silent Felicity was never a good sign. He went to put the ice cream in the freezer for her as she dished out two bowls full of pasta. In hindsight she realized she had made much too much just for one person. It was as though subconsciously she was waiting for him, which annoyed her even more. Oliver sat on the couch without waiting for an invitation and smiled up at her as she handed him a bowl of pasta. Contrary to her own judgment he liked her cooking.

Felicity sat at the other end of the couch leaving room Diggle, Roy, Thea, and Laurel should they decide to show up. Oliver let out a deep breath, but before he could say anything she spoke,

"You would have died, you were laying there and you were going to die on my watch. I make no apologies for choosing to save you." Her voice was low, and she kept her eyes on the TV.

"Felicity,"

"You really don't have a clue how much you mean to any of us do you? You go on this crusade and we're right there with you, and you have no regard for the rest of us. You throw your life around as though you're indispensable. Like your life matters less than the rest of us. It isn't. Your hero complex is getting old. Whilst it is admirable and endearing, it is more infuriating. What good would it have been that no one knew your secret if it meant you were dead." She said hollowly. Oliver put his bowl down and gathered her in his arms.

"I'm so sorry." He said regretfully. Whilst she was hurt for the way he had regarded her, it was the fact that he was willing to die that upset her the most and he saw how that haunted her. Felicity remained still in his arms, and it physically hurt his heart to know that she wasn't willing to give into him.

"You have just as much to live for as the rest of us, maybe more. Oliver, your Mother and Thea would not survive losing you again. You say that they are your whole world, then act like it. Live. Fight to live. Fight for the second chance you have. For your family, for Laurel, for Starling city." It did not escape them both that she had omitted herself from that list.

"Felicity, please look at me." He begged quietly as he placed his lips on her temple. Felicity wanted to say no, but saying no to Oliver was never a strong point for her. Reluctantly she looked at him, unable to mask all she was feeling that showed in her eyes. If Oliver was feeling bad, it was nothing compared to that moment when her eyes conveyed it all. Wordlessly he just hugged her closer to him silently pleading with her to give into his embrace.

"I will always fight to come back to you. I promise. I am so sorry if it seemed at though I took that for granted, that I have so much to live for. You are my best friend in the whole world Felicity Smoak, you are my family, and you are my home. You are what will always bring me home."

"Good, because I refuse to go to your funeral and I promise you that I will hate you if you die on me. So much that you would feel on the other side of eternity." She replied finally leaning into his embrace. Oliver chuckled only tightening his hold on her.

"You really suck sometimes Oliver Queen." Felicity murmured as she lay her head on his chest.

"I know,"

"And for the record, you're my best friend too. Well, you and Dig. I may like him better than you some days, because he's less ass-ey." Oliver laughed,

"Fair enough. I totally get and accept that."

"Is it time for ice cream yet?" she asked as she settled more comfortably in his embrace.

"Not yet," he murmured not ready to release her from his arms.

"Okay, but you owe me a big bowl."

"At the very least," he answered kissing the top of her head as he ran his hand up and down her back.

"Oliver,"

"Yes Felicity,"

"I'm glad you're not dead."

"Me too, and thank you for making sure I didn't you know,"

"Get dead?" she finished for him,

"Yeah that." He replied smiling.

"You're welcome." She said wrapping her arms around his middle.


End file.
